For Her - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Charlotte hands me some over sized camera, Canon I think. The nerves have started to kick in, I have waited for this. The camera practically looks like it has an in-built motor whilst in my hands. Charlotte notices this.

"Whoa man, you're really excited." she says

No shit. I don't think she knows what this person 'who I have never met' means to me. She is the depiction of a better life and I want that so bad. I also want to be with her. Not like fucking her. Be with her emotionally and mentally. But the fucking would be good as well.

"Okay, so like you have watched all her interviews, you know what her new movie is about and the type of questions she has been asked before, so I need you to give me some good questions to ask her?" She explains

"She is always asked the same questions like What was it like to work with so and so etc etc but no one ever asks her how she feels about the characters she plays I've noticed, she seems like she would love a question like that, talk about her passions and stuff." I tell Charlotte

Charlotte smiles in delight at my knowledge. I could write a fucking book on this girl. It brings me comfort that Charlotte is gaining from my deep and dark obsession.
I feel dirty every time I think of it as an obsession.

We head through the double doors into an auditorium. There must be about 100 red seats pointing towards a slight stage. On the stage; a navy blue chair and a microphone resting on a stand, red curtains hang behind them. The press and fans only occupy about half of the seats, like I said she wasn't a big star yet. The place looked like a small theater with a golden chandelier hanging just above the seats.
The ceiling had a huge painting of some god-like figure standing in white drapes with his decedents all around him. Made me think of Tara Hart and all these people who have come to see her like the god-like figure. I tried to see which decedent was me, looking for the one who would be drooling at their feet like a crazed dog.
The stage had a side entrance on the right that went behind a wall, just at the end of the isle I was walking down, there was a door on the wall probably leading back stage or to the stage itself.
We took our seats on the right side of the auditorium, mid way back, didn't want her to see me staring at her starry eyed. I put the camera by my feet for the time being.
Charlotte shrieked in excitement and looked to me to see if I was just as excited.  I was, even more than she was in fact, but when Charlotte looked at me, what she saw was a man that was sweating like a drug addict who needed a fix. I needed to calm down.

"You ready?" She asked

And like that, Tara Hart walked on stage to thunderous applause. I fell into a deep darkness where I could not see straight, my breathing had become irregular and over the top. I felt hot all over my body. My vision dimmed for a second and I thought I was surely to pass out..

"Hi Everybody!" Tara Hart said happily into the microphone

Like a shot of adrenaline, I stepped out of my darkness and looked at her.
She was...magnificent. Beautiful posture. A confident, cheery, talented specimen stood before me. Smiling on stage, just like I had seen her on my videos. She looked across the audience. I hoped she wouldn't see me, not yet, not until I found my cool. Luckily she missed me.
The questions start; same old bullshit she gets asked every interview but she answers them like its the first, such grace. I am mesmerized by every syllable she utters.
Suddenly Charlotte has her hand up like an eager little school girl, it suddenly dawns on me that Tara has started to look in our direction. I sink into my seat, hand over my face.

"Yes, you?" Tara directs at Charlotte

"In your new movie, you play quite a dark character who is dealing with a lot of personal and social issues, how did you prepare your self for this particular role?" Charlotte says strangely professional, for her.

I look up in shock that I finally might get something I didn't already know from this experience. Tara stops for a second, open mouthed. She didn't expect such a good question. I felt a slight bit responsible. Tara snaps back into character.

"Whoa, that's interesting, great question. Well I play the character of Chloe who has some serious social issues, she doesn't feel like she sees the world as everyone else does.."
Tara explains then chuckles.

"..and if I'm honest, I didn't have to prepare myself really because I am socially awkward. I don't like going out in big crowds, I don't like most people, I like to stay in and watch films to escape reality. So it wasn't too hard to get into character." She explains.

I have never met anyone who would say that out loud to an audience: I don't like most people. Other than me of course. At that moment, at that precise moment she said those words, I actually for once in my life felt connected to another human being and that...made me happy.